Who are we and What do we do?
About Us
Pakmarriages was
established in 2008. We are a small charity with a big impact (Alhamdulillah), helping victims of arranged, forced and incompatible
marriages. We believe that not all these marriages are physically forced, rather other methods are MORE common such as
emotional blackmail, cultural pressure and ‘the way it’s always been done’. We offer advice and help to Muslims and Non-Muslims alike, who have or are planning to marry from Pakistan.
We want to give you a real insight into these nightmare marriages. Pakmarriages.com is also the
first point of call for many who want to marry of their own choice or divorce of their own choice for valid Islamic, moral
and ethical reasons, rather than family and cultural pressures. Currently we are not externally
funded and finance this from our own pockets. Please tell as many friends and family about this life saving message
and create awareness so that we can help stop these unacceptable practices. If
you save just one man or woman from a marriage of abuse and misery then you have done a rewardable and great act in Allah’s
(SWT) eyes.
But surely this can’t be
true!
All the information on this website is from feedback/emails from YOU, the readers. For all those who are not married
from Pakistan, it will be hard looking from the outside. The only person who can really explain a situation properly
or give a valid opinion on a subject, is someone who has experienced it. For example, a Muslim who has never drank
alcohol can never debate the taste of various beers and wines as he or she has never tasted it. In the same way it is only
the victims of these marriages and experiences that can convey the true picture. If you have never been kidnapped you cannot
possibly know what it feels like, you can only try to guess. The victims of these marriages know the hell they are going through.
We request those who have no firsthand experience of these situations to keep an open mind. We understand that this website may come across as biased or with prejudice but this could not be further
from the truth. All the information on this website is from you the public. We love Pakistan and hope and pray for it
to see a better day. But what we also know that nothing changes unless we practically do something about it. Pakistani’s
are in our opinion possibly the most intelligent nation in the world, but sadly this intelligence has mainly been used to
exploit, deceive, cheat and lie. Allah does not change our condition unless we change it ourselves.
Taboo Subjects in Asian Culture
The subject of our parents culture (hopefully
not our culture!) is taboo to discuss or we usually live in a state of denial. For example, a survey questioned British youth (17-35 year olds) on their views of Pakistani/Asian culture and what
they thought of their parent’s views on Marriage, Islam, Lifestyle and Values. 86% disagreed with their
parent’s outlook on life. When asked about what they thought of Pakistan as a nation, its people and whether they can
trust a relative ‘back home’ or even in the UK, they overwhelmingly responded (93%) in the negative.
Yet when asked “What do you think of Pakistani’s in terms of their
character, trustworthiness and beliefs", most said “Not all of them are bad, it’s just a few and it’s
OK to marry from there!” This is the denial and contradiction we are facing. We cannot have
our feet in two boats at the same time. We must face the truth and reject what’s wrong with this culture and accept
only what is good (which is very little) and what complies with our Islamic morals and values.
Future Projects
We are planning a book and an overhaul of our website. We are going
to include many more sections inshAllah covering most aspects of our lives going even beyond marriage itself. Some of the
titles to be included in the future from your feedback are:
·
Why is my
father always angry and never appreciates me?
·
Why is everything
an issue when there is no issue!
·
Is Love
Stronger Than Culture?
·
Respecting
our parents and living our lives how we want.
·
Is your
brother a Ghulam?
·
The Vatta
Satta / Dawathee Dilemma
(Brother And Sister Married To Another Brother And
Sister)
· Spoilt Kids - The “Prince
or Puppy” Sons
· The Girls Who Don’t Have
A Choice
·
Have you
ever told anyone about your life?
·
Understanding
Your Husband
·
Understanding
Your Wife
Please keep
your messages and emails coming in. We appreciate your feedback and remember, we are here to help you. Please do not suffer
in silence.
