*NEW* Real Life Stories

Hot Air Balloons!

My GOD My GOD, you are soooooooooooo right!!!! I was reading your section about Men who married from Pakistan who don't know about how cunning their wives can be!!

You described my situation to the DOT!!! Even though I am from North America I related to all the stuff you were talking about. In fact I think us American/Canadian Pakistanis are even more clueless when it comes to the cunning and deceptive nature of people from the motherland.
In the U.K you have lots of Pakistanis in concentrated areas, here it's not like that at all, and people tend to keep to themselves in their suburban homes and not live as one big ethnic community.So naturally I only met very few Pakistanis, and always thought they would be nice and humble people like my mom and dad (who I have realized are the way they are because they have been out of that place for 30 plus yrs, so they don't know any 'chalakis').We made such a huge mistaking bringing a girl from there, toba toba, she wasn't a relative or anything, and she was even a doctor-educated (but from a poor family I later realized), but you are so right, even educated people can display so much jahalt. One word, SO freaking ungrateful!!!!!!! I mean this girl was treated like a princess by me and parents!!! Money , cars, Jewlery, thrown at this piece of garbage, the ungratefulness was shocking!!! I gave her so much love, I have never been that nice to a girl. I was always "honey honey honey, always sorry sorry sorry( for no damn reason). Taking here here, taking her there, even sent her and her mom ( who visited us from Pak) on a all expense paid trip to another city -so they could visit their relatives. Just we did whatever we could to give this ungrateful bitch izzat. I took here places tried to keep her entertained, waterparks, movies, themeparks, hot air ballon rides, restaurants, you name it I paid for it!!! We left the choice, to work, study, or stay at home all up to HER, I told her, "my dear whatever you feel comfortable with"" I mean here I was raised to respect and be nice to women. My dad always told me to be delicate and kind/loving to your wife. The girl would pretend to be nice and wash dishes sometimes but my old retired father would say "mere jan your hands are for looking at patients, not dishes, let ME put those in the dishwasher, you go study for your exam!!"" But you are right their moms send them on a mission to destroy!! She wanted full control of me, everyday I would come home for work, she would first have sex, then- your dad did this(she disliked the fact that he was at home all day,, its his bloody house!!), your sister did that, mom did this etc..She and her family then said they wanted another house we own here (which give out for rent) to be put in her name!! Naturally being a stupid male, I took her side and began fighting with my family-my poor mom and dad are not strict and they would just be silent. I never thought for a second that my mom and dad are so nice and they don't bother or interfere with anyone. So why am I taking her side. Eventually she made me move out of our house, and said she never wanted to visit my parents and she wouldn't let her future kids either (thank god none were born). My poor mom and dad just said, "son be happy and take care of her, we'll never visit your house unless she gives us permission, but please come and see us at least yourself" They are too freaking nice for their own good.

My younger sister realized what she was up to and tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. Anyway eventually I began to realize that this girl was cutting me of from my family, trying to get me involved with her family and make me a "ghar damat of sorts" she wanted to bring all her relatives here, and wanted me to go with her to Pakistan and stay at her house during holidays. She use to tell me to call her brother and wish him happy birthday, call her Mamoo etc..but would speak to no one from my family, and would curse them all, even people she had never met!!!

I just had enough, and just told her to go to hell one day, and told her I can't live being under your control all the time and your cursing of my family, and I am sick of your ungrateful nature, she went back to Pakistan and I divorced her.These women have no shame at all, they will stop at nothing for their mission, even getting divorced is nothing for them, her mother was a dominating controlling women and her father was a ghar damat, they wanted the same for me.

Anyway great site, please publish my story!!

Name Witheld , United States

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Sister In Law From Hell

What an enlightening website! MashAllah! I am absolutely stunned how accurate you are, without even knowing who my sister in law is, you have described as if you have met her and had cups of tea in her house from your childhood to adult hood.

Let me tell you my story. My brother got married from Pakistan with a village girl. She's nothing special to look at, so it wasn't beauty that won my brother over- but it was because my mother insisted he married due to his age (he was 36) Now my mother bless her, thought she was doing an immense favour on a family who was extremely poor, and making it so they are a 'waras' of the home. She thought all Pakistani women were good women. She, like all Pakistani mothers, has deep respect for the people of Pakistan and Pakistan itself. Now, you mentioned being tricked by a relative, well, this was done by our very own chachi, (who is my sister in laws khala) She made it out like our sister in law was something pretty special, and would be specifically trained to live with us, who we would never be able to find fault, she provided so many reassurances and mother took her word. However we never really got to meet her or even talk to her, as she made sure we didn't engage in any conversations with her and she lied about her age making her a couple of years older than she was.

Needless to say the marriage took place. And months later she started to show her true colours by demanding money, her 'Haq'. From that point on, my sisters and I pretty much sussed her out and advised our mum not to make the mistake of bringing her to the UK. But they did anyway, as they wanted the marriage to work. Now months later, she is finally in the UK. She arrived on a winters evening, not even a warm smile coloured her face or cheeks. She would constantly create tensions (as my brother was not living in the home and she wanted to be with him) Ok, understandable. Now, 6 months later he is living here. But like you mentioned she pretty much targeted the mother-in-law. Her hate for my mother is soo strong that it oozes out into the house, bringing tension, constant dramas, disrespect. She is very 'chalak' and will only cook in front of my brother as well as cleans, so he can see and thinks we are infact the bad ones. She now only cooks for my brother and spends all her time upstairs in the bedroom. She will say comments that are downright cheeky and make you gasp at her audacity. Like you said, my mother thought she would be grateful, instead she got 'why did you get me married, here', 'I want to live in my own house', and ‘I hate your mother'.

One thing you didn't mention though was the constant lies told about dying or having a severe illness, which meant she can't cook, clean or even do anything. But had the energy to go to the park or take little rides in the car, even opportunity to put on her make-up (once in a blue moon, not that this makes her anymore beautiful) But my brother, bless him, is sucker and a fool, because he is easily weakened by her.

As you said, she has been trying to get herself pregnant for months and months now, to establish herself here. I think she will probably be successful, because no matter how much we tell my brother what she is really about, and even though he knows this about her, he still is with her. She is not willing to go back to Pakistan, so my brother will now have to be stuck with her forever.

And thats where the story ends.... Another family, another sucker was born....

JazakAllah for listening.

Rubina, London

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My Lucky Escape

I stumbled across your webpage regarding marriages between a UK-born Pakistani and the ones from back home. I'm a UK born Pakistani male that went through a horrendous marriage and a horrendous divorce.
Basically my ex-wife is my 1st cousin and is my mum's niece. My mum couldn't see through their motives where I could. I never wanted to marry her although she was actually a very beautiful girl. However, my mum pushed me and pressured me into this marriage I never wanted.
I went to Pakistan in 1993 but I begged my mum I don’t want to marry her. The problem is that I knew the family have a bad reputation but my mum was so blinded by her family not realising what they were up to...my mum wanted this rishta so bad but her family had other motives of using me for a passport and destroying my family..they are extremely evil indeed.
When I was in Pakistan , knowing that I will get used for a passport I was suspicious that she also liked someone else, who is a cousin of both of us. I told my mum this but she won't listen. I was stuck and didn't know what to do. One of her evil plans was to use me and get loverboy over but it all back-fired.
Anyway I got married to her in 1993 and ended up bringing her over in 1994. Then she set out to destroy my family from her family orders. Most of her family were in the UK.already except her parents. Her parents and my ex-wife tried to push my parents and made threats to them for me to sponsor them but I refused completely. Nevertheless, they found someone else to sponsor them. They came in the UK in 1995 but thankfully I didn’t sponsor them.
However, my ex-wife was extremely nasty to my parents and showed no remorse and respect. She also got my sisters mobile number and had guys ringing up my sisters phone asking for dates just to humiliate my dad. However, my sister is very sensible and wasn't gullible in these sort of things. Even after all this I was kind and caring to my ex-wife and took her out to places. Then in 1998, she kept making claims that my parents were horrible to her and I was good to her (I knew she was lying). However, to prove a point, I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and live separate from my parents. But I decided not to let my parents come to my house as she made these claims that my parents were cruel to her when they weren't so she had no excuses this time. I hoped my ex-wife would change BUT she got a lot worse....boy these people are so ungrateful.
Anyway, while living separately from my parents, my ex-wife started to get violent towards me although many times I had to physically restrain her on numerous occasions to stop her injuring me and her. On May 1999, her family and my ex-wife were waiting for me at my house ready to remove me but I didn’t budge and ended up throwing them and my ex-wife out instead.
Then a month later they plotted an severe allegation against me and my parents making claims that I raped and beat her up along with my dad and mum..it was all lies coz they wanted to get the house. That attempt in court failed on their part..this made me decide that enough is enough so I divorced her Islamically without any hesitation. But they made a fuss about me divorcing her yet they were the ones who indirectly asked for it – well, making false allegations on us was enough for me to take action. Even after that I tried to sort the house out with my ex as soon as I could but she wouldn’t cooperate. My solicitors were sending her letters but she ignored it coz she wanted money from the house. In the meantime, she went to Pakistan and got married to her so-called love..BUT..within 2 weeks of the marriage they had a massive bust-up coz the guy she loved was going to use her for England as well ..so she came back to England and demanded a divorce but it took 5 years for her second husband to give the divorce...yet she ended up being pregnant by him and got a baby son in 2002. The house was eventually resolved and I got sole ownership and she got nothing in the end…I was lucky that we didn’t have kids.
After that, my life got better and done well for myself. As for my ex-wife, she has got a lot worse, gone into a new level of depravity in sleeping with an older man for money etc…and even more bizarre having severe internal family problems of her own…the same family members who backed her lies and deceit are now suffering the consequences..its a case of “they created a monster and now she is biting back”..what’s even worse is she was actually very beautiful but I have now seen her picture on Facebook and she looks hagged and 20 years older than she is...it's living proof that beauty is not from outside but from the inside. I blamed my mum for all this but I stopped blaming her now coz it doesn't help anyone. She stopped speaking to her family for 9 years due to the divorce and what they did. What is so sad is that her own family (her brother - my ex-father-in-law, her own neice - my ex-wife and the rest went ahead with this court case knowing full well it was a pack of lies..all because they were greedy). Anyway, in the end we told mum to reconcile with her family but stopped them from entering our house.
I have been divorced for 11 years now and have been looking for a suitable partner in the UK for 6 years between 2003-2009 but had no luck. I took a break from it but I will be looking again later this year, Insha’allah.
I fully support in what you are doing and its time for people like us to take a stand and prevent UK people getting used and abused by these idiots from back home in Pakistan. Many lives are being destroyed due to forced marriages and this needs to stop. As a male perspective, a man from the UK should think twice about marrying in Pakistan. I had a lucky escape but I know many are stuck coz they have children from those evil, malicious and vicious women from Pakistan. I wish I could say nice things about people in Pakistan (male and female) but they are all the same with evil intent.
If you like, you can put this on your website but don't include my name.

Name Witheld , Address Witheld

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