What Does Islam Say?

The Inconvenient Truth About Marriages Between Muslims in the West and Pakistanis.

'Truly Allah has totally forbidden disobedience (and the subsequent hurt) to mothers, burying alive daughters, with-holding the rights of others, and demanding that which is not your right.'

(Hadith Muslim 4257. Recorded by Mughirah b. Shuba).

It is not our parents right in Islam to choose our life partner. They can advise and recommend but it is not allowed for them to force a person to marry whether that be physical force, emotional blackmail, disowning, telling others to cut off from you, telling you its our culture or tricking you into marrying someone

With these simple words our Beloved Prophet expressed so much that should convince any Muslim person seeking to force a marriage upon a daughter (or son) that what they are intending is not only terribly wrong, but also in direct opposition to the true teachings of Islam.

In our culture it totally forbidden for a women to divorce her husband, even if she is suffering terrible acts of human cruelty at the hands of her abusive husband on a daily basis. He can physically beat her, verbally abuse her and be the local gangster but it doesnt matter. The culture dictates to our parents that their daughter cannot leave her husband because of the 'besti'. The embarassment for the father when he goes to the Mosque and for the mother in front of the other women in the family and neighborhood.

So it is acceptable to them to sit peacefully in their homes when their daughter is going through a living hell, so often, in the same town. Her cries for help are totally ignored, instead they blame their daughters for not being a good wife. They say things like 'You must do something to provoke him', or 'Well you've live with him for all these years and now you are complaining'.

Our culture dictates that son-in-laws are always to be respect and bowed down to. Truly shocking! Our culture forces us to respect someone who abuses our daughters because him often because he a relative and we do not want spoil our relationship with the baradari. How can these fathers ignore their the cries for help from their 'little angel' daughters. Do they not know what status Islam gives to women and the important role they play in moulding society.

If any woman was brave enough to divorce her husband and end her suffering, the society would vilify her. No blame would be put on the husband, only on the wife for leaving the abuser.

Islam teaches us that we can live with with Kufar but we cannot live with Zulm (Cruelty). By the same token how is acceptable to our backward society that a woman suffer such injustices How is it that the same people who turn a blind eye to this cruelty would not do so if they so an innocent woman being attacked in the streets. They would assist the police in arresting him and making sure he is charged and convicted for the offences. Such double standards.

The Hadith below clearly demonstrates that a marriage without your choice is not valid. You must want to marry that person due to your free will. You need to ask yourself if your parents were not choosing this person at all and you had met this person of your own accord i.e at university or work would you marry this person? Most likely not. It is normally because your parents want it and you dont want to upset them. Bottom line is it is HARAAM to marry without your choice and happiness.

This was offered with no conditions or reason other than the fact that a forced marriage is not permissible in Islam.

Irrelevant of whether you reluctantly agreed. If you did not want to marry this person it was a forced marriage.

“Just as food, shelter and clothing are basic human rights, marrying of your own choice is also your human right and not to be dictated by anyone even your parents.”